Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
