U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
