Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I cut my penus on the lid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
