areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to make a zoo with you.
I faked an abortion last night.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
