im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize