i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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