Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
