Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
