I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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