I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
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