My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
