absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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