DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
