This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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