He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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