god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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