And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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