why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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