You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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