She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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