Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
