After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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