I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
