I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
