So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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