well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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