I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
