Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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