wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
