I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
