I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
