Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
