There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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