man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
