alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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