im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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