I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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