HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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