I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
