She's JV to your varsity
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
