therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
