I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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