I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
