For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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