the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
