I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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