he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
