I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
