is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
