Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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