i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
