He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
