All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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