I look better un-naked...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
