8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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