so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
