Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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