i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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